Bermuda
by marshallsaredead
Summary: All Clare and Jake want is a happy relationship, but Eli never fails to somehow get in the way.  ClarexJake   ClarexEli  Please Read and Review!
1. One

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hi guys, I just wanted to clarify here that my story is dialogue-driven, so if you're ever thinking why there isn't a lot of description of actions, then it's because I prefer creating scenes through my characters' (well, Degrassi's characters) words. I hope you guys enjoy this story!**

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><p>Clare stirs through her bowl of soup at the dinner table. She sits in front of Jake, and they are with their parents, who are still unaware of the blooming relationship. Clare's mother cheerfully creates conversation with Glen and Jake while an earlier conversation between her and Eli runs through Clare's mind.<p>

"Clara is the hero" are the words that are on repeat in Clare's mind. Eli's words were so bold, but he said them so simply. Clare reels from the rawness of that moment shared, and she can't help but contemplate what the exchange means for Eli and her.

Clare has no idea of what's being discussed at the table, and she snaps back into the scene when her mother asks, "Clare? Is something wrong with the food? You don't seem to be eating much."

Clare shakes her head and replies, "No, it's great." She glances at Jake, who has been observing her, and forces out a smile.

"Well, I hope this dinner isn't too weird for you guys," Ms. Edwards gushes. "It's just been so long since we've," she smiles at Jake's father, "had dinner with our kids."

Mr. Martin smiles in agreement. "We don't want to make you two feel uncomfortable in any way."

Clare is less concerned about this dinner and more focused on her thoughts on Eli. She remembers Jake and her first look at him is right into his eyes.

Jake says, "We're fine with this, right, Clare Bear?" He knows something is on Clare's mind.

"Right," she says too quickly.

Clare's mother frowns. "Honey, are you all right?"

"Actually, mom, I have a really bad headache," Clare lies. "If you don't mind, I'd like to excuse myself so I can lie down or something."

"Okay; if you need to, you can take an aspirin," her mother answers with a brief, worried look.

Clare walks up the stairs to her room and sits on her bed. She lies down. She feels strange, but she doesn't know why she is. She knows a weight has been lifted off her shoulder, but she can't help but feel anxious.

She hears a knock on her door and says, "Come in." She already knows who it is.

"Hey," Jake says, smiling gently.

"What brought an end to your gobbling down any food in sight?"

"Your lack of appetite, or so it seemed, kind of rubbed off on me." Jake sits next to Clare and looks at her. He reaches to touch her hand. "Clare, what's wrong?"

Clare's face flushes. She doesn't want to tell Jake that she had been thinking about Eli. She didn't want to say anything that would hurt Jake's feelings.

"Nothing's wrong," she says.

"You're lying."

"I'm really not."

"Then what's on your mind? You were distant at dinner today. Something has to be bothering you."

"Jake," Clare says softly.

She looks at him for a long time. He looks sweet and friendly, unlike Eli, who looks stolid and less approachable. She realizes how much she actually likes Jake.

She was telling Jake the truth when she told him nothing was wrong, but she didn't want Jake to get the wrong idea by admitting her thoughts. Jake's hand squeezes hers, and she knows she doesn't have the heart to hide this from him.

"You've been able to tell me a lot so far," Jake says. "So what's up, now?"

"A relationship's about honesty, right?" Clare asks.

"I'd hope so," Jake replies.

Clare sighs. "I was thinking about something Eli said."

Jake looks down at his feet. He doesn't want to make any remarks before hearing out Clare completely. But, he wants to believe that Clare is completely over Eli, and now, he's not so sure.

"I don't have feelings for him, Jake," Clare says, as if she read his mind.

"If we're gonna be about honesty now, then your interest in all the things he has to say about you in his play is unsettling for me."

"Jake, I was just worried about what _you_ would think," Clare defends.

"You know what I think of you," Jake replies, "but it's hard for me to not think there are lingering feelings for the guy."

"I don't know how to convince you that I don't have feelings for Eli anymore," Clare says. "If I really wanted to be with him again, I think I would have been able to do that by now. I want you, Jake."

"I –" Jake stops. He doesn't want to tell Clare how he really feels because opening up to her will only make things more serious, and this scares Jake.

"What?"

"I feel like I'm the rebound guy," Jake says quietly. "And maybe I am, but I kind of want to be more than that, too."

"You are more than that!"

"You still think about Eli."

Clare is quiet for a moment. "I was thinking about Eli today because I spoke to him. I read his play, and I talked to him about it, and I think we finally gained closure," Clare explains. "The kind of closure I've been wanting."

"So it's completely over between you guys," Jake responds.

"It's been over for a while but my paranoia, I guess, about what he was saying about me got to the best of me."

"Okay."

"Are you upset?" Clare asks.

Jake feels slightly relieved. He chooses to trust Clare, and he smiles. "No, I'm not upset."

"Good, because you really don't have to worry about being the rebound guy. I wouldn't use you to get over Eli," Clare says. "I do really like you."

Jake kisses her cheek. "I really like you, too, Clare. And, I'm sorry for being insecure, I guess."

"You weren't being insecure. I understand." Clare pushes Jake down on her bed and straddles his lap. "You mean so much to me."

Jake looks at the girl in front of him, and he thinks of how lucky he is to be in a relationship with someone intelligent and beautiful. He feels lucky for simply being liked by Clare.

"And you have a great way of showing it."


	2. Two

She has no idea how much she annoys him. He is only tolerating her because she's the lead in his play and wouldn't be able to find anyone else in short notice if she were to leave, and he knows that even she can't capture the essence of Clare Edwards. Even his play doesn't portray to what extent Clare actually meant to him. What she still means to him.

Imogen walks over to Eli. She smiles sweetly and says, "I've been practicing during every spare moment I have. I think the audience will wonder whether I'm the real Clare Edwards, only with a mask."

She's so weird, Eli thinks. "That's great, Imogen. Keep it up."

She stands closer to him. "But unlike her, I wouldn't hurt you, Eli. The play about us will be like a fairytale."

"Imogen, fairytales aren't real. Look, I need to make sure the set's coming along, so I'll talk to you later."

Eli has grown tired of making up excuses to avoid Imogen, but there's nothing he can do. She seems to have the idea that they will end up being together, that she'll be the next Clare in his life. But that won't happen; Clare Edwards is irreplaceable.

Eli sees Jake painting a sign, and he's speaking to someone. Jake is unaware that he is being watched. Eli tries to overhear what he's saying.

"I was thinking about cooking for her," Jake says. "She'd like a home cooked meal."

Eli feels disappointed. He wishes he had been able to cook dinner for Clare sometime during their relationship. He wonders if these little things would have made a difference; if she would have stayed.

"I'm over her house most of the time, anyway, so it won't be weird to just start cooking something," Jake continues.

Eli doesn't recall being "over her house most of the time." They went out on dates, or they hung out with Adam, but Eli never thought to consider Clare's house a second home. He realizes that Jake is in on what Eli missed out on. Eli wishes he did things differently.

He looks at the door, and he sees Clare walking towards him. He's less disheartened now, and she looks as though she's smiling at him. Eli immediately smiles back. He straightens up and says, "Clare!"

"Hi, Eli," Clare says, but she walks past him to go to Jake.

Eli's heart sinks again. He expected a little more than a simple greeting from Clare. He hoped she would linger on for a moment more.

He watches Clare as she approaches Jake, and he watches Jake as he beams at her. He can't help but watch Jake as he pulls Clare into a tight embrace and sweep her into a long kiss. He doesn't remember kissing Clare with that kind of passion, and Eli is now regretful.

"Eli, don't do this to yourself," someone says next to him. It's Fiona.

"What am I doing?" Eli's eyes haven't left the honeymooning couple.

"This, watching her," Fiona answers. "It's so masochistic."

Eli smiles sadly. Then he says something that Fiona doesn't have the heart to refute or respond to, "I blew it."


	3. Three

Clare sits at the kitchen table working on her latest piece for the school newspaper. She keeps her cellphone by her side in case Jake decides to text her, or if she misses him enough to text him first. Clare is always thinking about Jake now; she wonders what he's doing, how he's feeling, what he's thinking about.

"Clare, are you busy?" she hears her mother ask from behind her.

She looks at her empty document and her phone with no new alerts, and replies, "Not really, Mom." Clare turns around and looks at her mother, who is walking towards the seat next to her. "What's up?"

Ms. Edwards smiles. "Oh, nothing's new, Clare. I just thought I'd chat with you."

Clare feels annoyed because although she wasn't doing anything important, she wasn't really in the mood to talk to her mother. She hadn't had a normal conversation with her mother in years, and she doesn't expect to have one now.

"Okay," Clare says. "So what do you want to talk about?"

"I don't know; how's school going? Have you thought about college?"

"Um, college, no. School's fine. I'm on the newspaper staff."

"That's nice. Glen worked for the paper in college, too, you know."

Clare thinks of Jake. She misses him. She wishes he weren't so busy with designing sets for the school play. Clare hopes he'll stop by afterwards.

"Really?" Clare asks. "Given his expertise, I wouldn't have thought he'd be a writer."

Her mother laughs. "He's full of surprises."

"How serious are you two?" Clare suddenly thinks to ask. She's curious. Clare wants to know whether her mother's relationship with Jake's father would blossom into something more serious. Would they move in together? Would they get married?

Her mother is taken aback. "Clare…"

"I mean, you guys have sex. You must be pretty serious then."

"Clare!"

Clare felt as though she might as well ask away. If her mom wants to talk, then they can talk about something interesting – even if also awkward.

"I think I have a right to ask," Clare defends. "I don't want any surprises. And, besides, I'm mature enough to handle the details."

Her mother's face flushes. "Clare, are you sure you really want to know?"

"Well, now I have to know."

"We – we're not _in love_, but we care about each other."

"So you have sex with someone you don't love," Clare comments. She doesn't mean to criticize her mother; she wonders what this means for herself. If her mom can do it, then she could, too.

"Clare," her mother says, "I don't want you to think badly of me."

"I don't," Clare answers. "So, you think it's okay to have sex?"

Her mother frowns. "Are you thinking of doing it?"

"No!" Clare responds quickly. She blushes at the thought of having sex with Jake. They never spoke of it. But she knows she's open to the idea of losing her virginity to Jake. Oh, god, she wants to do it.

"Then what's with these questions?"

"It's just," Clare stops, trying to think of an answer. She doesn't want to tell her mother she's dating Jake and afraid of the possibility of getting attached to a possible stepbrother.

"Clare?"

"We never really talk about it. All you and Darcy ever told me was that the Church says no to premarital sex."

"And it does say no to premarital sex. But," Clare's mother sighs as if she's about to make a confession, "I should tell you something about myself." Clare sits straighter in her seat. "Your father – he wasn't my…"

"Wow," Clare states. She's shocked, knowing her mother wasn't a virgin when she married. She wasn't "pure."

"I only became really involved with our church because it seemed like something your father expected from me," Ms. Edwards explains. "When we had daughters, it was important to share those values with you and Darcy."

"Darcy was really into Jesus," Clare remarks.

"And good for her," Ms. Edwards replies. "I'd rather she be passionate about God than, say, drugs."

Clare looks at her fingers. She doesn't wear a purity ring anymore; she stopped wearing it when her parents announced they were separating. Clare thinks she would feel less guilty about having sex before marriage now that she knows her own mother did. Clare isn't disgusted or disappointed – she's fascinated. She had no idea her mother had lovers before her father.

"Are you okay?" Clare's mother asks.

"Yeah, Mom, I am," she replies.

"I hope you're not disappointed in me."

"Mom, you didn't do anything _wrong_. It's okay."

"This is silly," Ms. Edwards giggles. "I never thought I'd be talking about sex with my teenage kid."

Clare laughs. "I didn't quite expect this either."

"Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?"

Now would be a good time to tell you I'm dating Jake, Clare thinks. But she can't bring herself to say it. She doesn't want to make the situation awkward.

"No, Mom, everything's fine." And everything is fine.

Jake sits at his kitchen table. He is fixing an old music box he found in one of the unpacked boxes he scrimmaged through. When he saw it, he immediately thought of Clare. Jake knew his dad wouldn't use the box or even need it. He thought Clare would like the object as a gift, but it didn't work. He was finished with working on the play for the day, and he normally would've called Clare to see if she were free, but Jake wanted to work on her present as soon as possible.

Jake's father walked into the kitchen to wash his hands. He notices Jake working hard on a project and says, "Oh, your grandmother's old music box. I don't even remember packing that."

"If you don't mind, I thought of someone who would appreciate it as a gift," Jake responds, "if I can fix it."

"Yeah? That's nice, Jake," his father says. He pours himself a glass of milk from the fridge and then sits with Jake. "I'm glad you're making some new friends here."

Jake smiles because he thinks of Clare when his father says this. Clare is, in a way, a new friend. But she's also an old friend. A new form of friendship grew out of an old connection.

"So who are you giving that to?"

Jake mumbles, "A girl."

"Wow, already?"

"What?"

"You know, son, I'm glad you're good with the ladies, but you shouldn't play around with so many hearts like that."

"Dad, I'm not. I am giving this girl a gift, after all. That counts for something, doesn't it?"

"She must be special. Who is she?"

Jake knows he should tell his father about Clare, but he doesn't want to compromise Clare's comfort with their parents by exposing the relationship. He'll be ready to tell the adults when Clare is ready to tell them.

"No one, Dad."

"Oh, come on."

"I can't tell you…"

"That's goofy. Why not?"

Jake uncomfortably looks at his father. He really wants to tell him, but he has to respect Clare's wishes. "I can't, Dad. It's complicated."

"If you can't give me a name, tell me about her."

"She's sweet, smart, caring." Jake smiles. "And she's ridiculously good looking."

"You seem to like her a lot."

"I –" Jake was about to say "I love her," but he knows that would be too extreme, and the time isn't ripe. Jake doesn't know what he's thinking anymore and says, "Yeah."

"I'm happy for you, Jake," his father says. He stands up and pats Jake on the back. "If you don't mind, I have a call to make."

Jake looks at the music box. He shuts it. Then he opens it again. The music plays smoother than it had when he first opened it, so Jake tries to do something about the tune one more time before heading to sleep.

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><p><strong>I hope you guys have enjoyed reading so far! I would really appreciate some reviews - they're always encouraging, and they only take a few seconds! Thanks for reading! <strong>


	4. Four

IT IS early dawn, and Eli lies awake in his bed. He traces over the area Clare – Imogen, he later realized – lay on. He needs her back. He doesn't want anyone other than Clare. She's perfect. He can't give up her on now, and he needs her to see that she can't give up on him.

Eli replays his "date" with Clare in his head. He was so erratic; he couldn't keep his cool when he needed to most, and it's highly unlikely that Clare thinks highly of him at the moment. He couldn't even tell her the truth; he couldn't admit to her that he changed the ending to have Ari and Clara back together because he wants Clare and him to get back together. It's how it's meant to be, Eli thinks.

He cringes at his reflection of last night's events. Seeing Jake show up at the Dot to wait for Clare annoyed Eli. He hated Jake even more for not being the jealous type of boyfriend and actually joining Clare for her interview with him. Jake gives Clare her space. Eli knows this is where he went wrong. Two halves of Eli's mind tug at each other, one part of him thinking that he has lost Clare forever, and the other part thinking there is still a chance.

JAKE WAITS outside Clare's house, leaning against his truck. Clare doesn't expect him to be there, but he thought she would like a ride to school with him. He wants to see her so he can give her the gift he prepared. He hopes she likes it.

He looks at his watch and thinks he is either too early, or he already missed Clare. He doesn't want to contact her, or else he would ruin his surprise visit, but he no longer has to worry about Clare's whereabouts because he sees her closing the door behind her and beaming at the sight of him.

"I didn't expect you to be here," Clare greets. She kisses him.

"Thought you might like a drive to school," Jake replies.

"You know I could've walked."

"Yeah, well, I also really wanted to see you as soon as possible."

Clare smiles. Compared to how much she liked him when she and Jake first started "hanging out," Clare likes him a lot right now. They understand each other; they can bond easily; they genuinely care for each other. She is more than content with her relationship with Jake and she couldn't ask for anything better.

The couple goes inside Jake's car. He doesn't drive away immediately. Clare notices he looks somewhat nervous about something.

"Is something wrong?" Clare asks.

"No, everything's fine," Jake says.

"What's on your mind?"

Jake reaches for a boxed gift on his dashboard and hands it to Clare. He says, "I have something for you."

Clare blushes. "You didn't have to get me anything."

"I know. But, I wanted to. So, open it."

Clare tears a seal of the box's opening, and then pulls out the music box. It's simple and charming, and the box's exterior pattern is floral.

"Jake, this is really pretty," Clare says. She opens the box. The song "Heart and Soul" plays, and Clare is sent back years. Clare had been playing that song on the piano when Jake came in and threw a dead frog at her face. Now, Clare laughs. "This is amazing. I love it." She reaches to kiss Jake's cheek.

"Good. I hoped you would," Jake says. He feels relieved. His next plan was to cook Clare dinner. Lately, all Jake has been concerned about is doing nice things for Clare. He wanted to woo her, to make her happy. No other girl made him feel this way before.

"Wow, you are so good to me," Clare comments. "You're really sweet."

Jake chuckles in embarrassment. "Thank you, Clare. It's all for the sweetest girl I know."

CLARE SHOULD be getting ready to go see Eli's play. She's assigned to review it for the paper. Instead, she's busy decorating her room because she became distracted by the task. She found Christmas lights, and she decided to hang them up in her room for a quirky look.

She's on a small ladder attaching the lights on her wall when Jake walks into her room. Helen let him in; "I'm about to leave to see your dad," she said.

Jake looks at Clare's position on the ladder, and he knows that if she stretches even a bit, she'll be likely to fall. He immediately rushes to her side and says, "Step down and let me do this."

"Jake," Clare says, "Hey."

Jake takes the initiative to screw the lights into Clare's wall and comments, "You could've asked me to do this for you."

"I was doing fine myself."

"You would've fallen!"

"Well, I'm glad you were here to save me from my fall." Clare giggles. She sits on her bed and looks at Jake. His body is so lean yet strong. It's almost as if his facial structure is perfect – he is so good looking, Clare thinks. His hands look so strong and firm. His torso is long. "You're so manly."

"Am I?" Jake grins. He winks at her.

Clare smiles. "You are."

Jake finishes up Clare's decorating and he sits next to her on her bed. Clare pulls him into a deep kiss. She feels so in tune with this boy in her presence. She feels like she could melt into him at that moment.

When they separate, Jake asks, "Ready to go?"

"Yeah, let me just comb my hair."

She stands in front of her dresser. She opens the music box Jake gave her earlier that day and lets the music fill the silence – it's an intimate silence – between her and Jake. She brushes her hair, and Jake watches. As he does so, he is suddenly filled with warmth at the sight of Clare brushing her hair. It almost feels like he lives with her, or that they're married, and Jake's heart pounds.

When Clare is finished, she turns around, smiles at Jake, and says, "Ready."


End file.
